---

Vitamin Scam

By: Unwelcome Perspective

I think vitamins are a scam. If these vitamins are so great then how come my body doesn’t absorb any of them? Every time I take a multi-vitamin I pee what Gatorade would look like if it actually had electrolytes. My stream looks like an information superhighway of radioactive wasted money. And people say, “O that’s because your body can’t absorb that multi-vitamin all at once. You have to spread your vitamins out over the day.”

So basically what you’re telling me is that my body is either retarded or extremely confident that it will get more vitamins in the near future. Our bodies have become so spoiled that when we give it pure vitamins, instead of storing them up for later, it says “o I can expect some more of these tonight. I might as well flush out this surplus of nutrients and make some room for the fresh stuff.” I don’t think our ancestors would be so confident. If you gave a caveman a vitamin I don’t think he’d pee electricity. I think he would absorb everything in that vitamin including the water he downed it with and piss air.

So yeah, I’m a sheep and I still take my multi-vitamin, but only so the guy in the next urinal thinks he can get cancer from looking at my mutant piss.