’)Corporations Rule the World
By: Unwelcome Perspective
One of my college professors told my class that if we don’t watch out, corporations will take over the world. And I said, great, finally government will get some shit done. And even better, I won’t have to listen to anymore dumbass politicians.
I hate all politicians, every single one of them. Obama, Bush, Congress, the mayor, the student body president, I don’t care, I can’t stand them. They get to talk all the game they want, waste your money, and lie to you, and you gotta wait four years to fire them! A corporation is easier to keep in line, because you can fuck with them every day. If you don’t like Starbucks you can boycott it, you can sell your stock in it, and you can spend your money at their competition. And you can say they’re doing a bad job without somebody calling you a racist.
I don’t know if anyone’s noticed this, but the government sucks, at everything! Except for the military, we’re pretty good at that shit. But please feel free to name for me a single government program that actually works. The Post Office, Amtrak, Social Security, Medicare, welfare, every single one of those programs sucks. The government runs a program like it’s a trillion dollar “mom and pop” shop. They overpay their workers, hire every village idiot in the neighborhood, sit around, don’t do shit, and take days off like they’re teachers. 
Also, explain to me why we have ten different agencies that all do the same thing. We have the FBI, the ATF, the DEA, the CIA, the NSA, the FDA, the FAA, the FCC, FEMA, Homeland Security... All these agencies do the same thing, enforce shitty rules that we didn’t vote for. They should just have one federal agency. Call it Big Brother, the ignorant dickhead around the house that tries to regulate shit when mom and dad go out of town.
And then we have the ultimate agency, NASA. NASA has got to be the biggest money laundering operation in the history of organized crime. The government gets 50 billion dollars of drug money they confiscated from a cartel, and they give it to a group of nerds that build rockets they use to transport telescopes to places where they can monitor irrelevant rocks and balls of gas. Direct TV could send a satellite up to space in the time it’d take these clowns to make Tang in a gravity chamber.
O and how responsible is the government with your money? Boy they sure know how to balance a checkbook. They’re nine trillion in the hole. And remember this. When the Blue Angels come to town, and decide to break the sound barrier at 6 in the morning when you have a hangover, remember, that’s your tax dollars at work. When five, 50 million dollar apiece jets fly over your house burning enough fuel to get the whole city to work, and create a sonic boom that makes your dog shit the carpet, think to yourself, wow I’m really glad I filed my taxes this year.