’)Every week in the Going Postal section ITHP will nominate an individual who represents the scum of this planet.(Previous Weeks)
This Week: Steve Jobs
By: Wilson Blair
“And convenience, shit – how the fuck is it more convenient to always have an electronic leash with you at all times. How is it more convenient to be reached on your…cell phone twenty-four hours a day? Shit, convenience is just another word for slavery.”-Joshua Ortega
Unfortunately for humanity, Steve Jobs survived his recent bout with cancer. But let’s put aside the wishful thinking for a second. There is no denying that the man is a genius. He is a pioneer of the digital revolution that has done immeasurable good for the world. However, for the past few years, Jobs has released a number of products that scare the hell out of me.
If you’ve walked through a college campus or been on any sort of public transportation recently, you will notice funny looking white cords running into everyone’s ears. Thirty years ago, this could have been a scene in some futuristic horror movie. Yet today, iPods and iPhones are more common than wristwatches. So what’s the matter? Lets put aside hearing loss, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and extreme self-indulgence. What keeps me up at night is the glazed eyes and detached look I see in the passing iPod listener. Abstracted from reality, the person seems almost oblivious to the world passing around them. As a homeland security peacekeeper conducts random strip searches, the iPod wearer is the model citizen, patiently waiting his turn to have his privacy raped as his favorite new hit single begins to play.
Have you tried having a conversation with someone recently? Somehow it has become socially acceptable to pull out your iPhone and start texting or surfing the Internet mid conversation. Good luck having any sort of substantive discussion about the merits of the Federal Reserve System while your companion is checking his fantasy basketball team. And that’s assuming you are successfully able to draw someone out of their cell phone/iPod induced personal bubble long enough for them to even notice you. Conversation and human-to-human interaction is a thing of the past. Embrace the future of the “me” culture and “newspeak” also known as incomprehensible acronyms, spelling atrocities and sentence fragments sent via teenage girls cell phones. I remember even 10 years ago riding the bus to the sounds of conversation among perfect strangers. Get on a bus today it you’ll find yourself commuting in silence.
With an iPod or iPhone, there is no reason ever to be bored again. Imagination and peaceful contemplation was for Greek philosophers. Now, imagination seems so uninteresting when you have the latest news on Tiger Wood's escapades at your fingertips. Homework is made so much less of a bore with background music pumping into your ears while at the same time carrying on three simultaneous “conversations” via text message. Who cares that multitasking has been shown to kill information retention. An informed citizenry is a thing of the past.
Now everyone put you earbuds back in, pick up your iPhone, and don’t trouble yourself about America’s looming financial collapse. Just remember to get yourself one of those new iPads.